Houseguests and Fish....

There is an old saying about houseguests and fish. They both stink after three days. I would have to disagree. My expiration comes much more quickly. About three hours is my limit. Okay that's not true for all houseguests, but....

I had a visitor this weekend. My friend, X, and I have been friends since our freshman year of college back in the eighties. Brought together in the dorm through our love of alt rock, we have been pals for a long while. Too long. It is not that I don't love my friend or really appreciate all she does for me. She was totally on top of things at my wedding, and when my father died she was on the first call list. It's just that lately, we really don't have anything in common.Yeah, we both still love the same music, and shop at the same places, but we genuinely have very little to discuss. I know we have both changed as we have aged but she has not changed as much as I have. This is a problem. I grew up. I started a business, returned to school, got married, and well, just grew up. She on the other hand, is Peter Pan. With most excellent funding from Daddy, she has never had to do alot of the things that teach you about life. As a result, she is still like a 21 year old. She goes out to see bands nightly, but is not a big drinker. She is there for the boys. She does this wierd idol worship thing and takes pictures of the band, and talks about members of local and national acts as though she personally knows all of them. For example, the Chili Peppers were playing at Live Earth this weekend. She was all "Anthony" this, "Chad" that like they were gonna meet us for cocktails later on. She was doing this with every act! She spoke like Duran Duran were her neighbors and Crowded House were going to text her when they finished their set.Yeah, in my younger days, I sat in the "phil zone" and felt like Jerry was playing Franklin's Tower just for me but the reality was that outside of my Dead circle, they were collectively the Grateful Dead. I just don't get it and frankly she got on my last nerve and did a tapdance.
It used to be fun. In our late teens, music was our voice. It identified us as deadheads, alt rockers, country fans, or metal rockers. It was a vital part of our identities, and told the world our attitudes and opinions by turning it up! Yeah. Fast forward 20 years, and I don't need music to define me to the world.I have enough living under my belt that I know who I am, and believe in my grandfather's Army credo...deeds not words. I don't have to run with the cool crowd to let the world think better of me. I am not even sure what the cool crowd is!The names I can drop are because of actual contact and relationship, but I feel like namedropping is cheesy. I am simply me, and I am probably a nerd. I don't care. It's all I have. Yeah, in my twenties, I did go to the cool places, and knew all the musicans and bartenders. Guess what? In our late thirties most of the cool crowd have day jobs, mortgages, ex spouses, insurance, and voter registration cards. The ride is long over. Most of the cool crowd have grown up and those who haven't have pretty much sealed the deal for entry into the lame-o hall of fame. It is downright sad to feel like you have to entertain someone you find kind of pathetic. This girl wanted to go and see bands in a college town with college kids. Her enthusiasm is admirable but her lifestyle freaks me out. I have no desire to be the cool old lady in the crowd and down Jager Bombs like a baby needs milk. We used to make fun of those women and lament how sad it is when people don't know when to quit. Sadly our houseguest IS that woman now. When she came in the fall, we had to get to the bar early to sit near the band. When we got to the bar, the band looked terrified when they saw her. She goes to gigs and takes pictures of the bands and freaks them out. I know of one incident where she got in a fistfight with a girl over an obsession. Jeez! Admit you are old and move on.....
So. What to do? I am hoping that with the lameness of last weekend (we only went out to eat, no bars) she will understand that this is how folks our age operate. Hubby and I went about our dull little lives with the only differences being the whole eating out all weekend thing, and a bigger discresionary fund than other weekends. How we rolled last weekend is really how we roll. Maybe leading by example is our best hope. I doubt she found us very fun, but we are not fun peopple. We pay our bills, upgrade when a replacement is needed (not before), don't call in "hungover", and above all we act our age! Yeah I tried to sell hubby's kidney on ebay to bankroll a trip to catch The Police, and we do offer jello shooters to parents we know taking their kids around on Halloweeen, but we also know our place. Have you seen that older drunk couple in the corner? She's wearing a Ramones t-shirt with an obviously dire need for a bra. He's got on a baseball cap trucker style ala 2002. They are buying shots for the table of college kids adjacent to them. They believe they have new cool friends. They, in reality, have given these kids material for weeks to come. That is so not us. Not even when company is in town.